That I forgot all those times you would put in efforts to find me
That I forgot all those hand drawn cards and gifts
That I forgot the many times how you had the thoughts surprising me just to make me happy
That I forgot the many times how you bear with listening of my difficulties
That I have the audacity to confiscate your rights to be unhappy
That I pointed out how people out there are suffering over survival yet we are merely complaining about our privileged lives cause of studies
That I failed to not let you see how people around you whom you think are you best of pals viewed you
That I was the culprit behind your poor performance in terms of acadamics and wellbeing while I was supporting you through fleasible methods
"To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it up to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully around with hobbies and little luxuries, avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken. It will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable."
That is why I will never learn to love anymore again. Never to divulge the darkest and deepest of my soul. Never to feel any single sense of affection for mankind. To selfishly, loving myself as an entity.
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