Outcast

Its beginning to feel like this is the only space where I can be myself.
I try my best not to think of negative thoughts and try to surround myself with ppl who loves me.
But, there is always something that will bring you down.
Locking this blog because I want this to be as private and personal as possible.
Just feel like pouring things out but not to anyone just to myself

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Why are some people so ungrateful? Why does it now seems like its all my fault? I am the one to be blamed. I really don't feel fit in at school at all. Is it because of my and my character thats why I am like that now? All along whenever you are upset or breakups, just one call during midnight I would stay up and listen to you.. When you are sick, I offered to accompany you to see the doctor.. But why do you make me feel like this now? Am I really such a suckish person? I feel really lost. It's like I no longer able to find the true happiness within. It really hurts me.. I feel like a fucking loser. Where everyday ended their major papers and have fun, I'm the only pathetic asshole that go home herself. I need to stop waddle in self-pity. Friends.. Do I really need them? After all, it's seems like I have no true friends around me anymore.. No one would ever stood by me.. I just feel really empty inside that no one will ever knows.. I never meant any ill intentions, I never wanted any fame or attention, I never wanted to put anyone down.. 

I feel pathetic 

I am a loser

I am never good enough

I am insignificant

I am deserving of all these shits