Faced with confusions

Have your ever experience that feeling when you're emotional and physically unable to help your friends?      

When I know my friends are having some problems, I don't know whether to help or not.

I know as a friend, I should tried my best to help them.

But sometimes, I just could not put up myself to help them, and fickle should I help or not.

But our ways of solving is different, I solved it by finding the roots of the problem and not just temporary solving it.

For example, one of my bff experienced family conflicts.

She assumed that her family did not trust her and checks her stuffs.

But she was at fault too, as a 13-years-old teen should not hurls vulgarities.

Instead of learning from her mistakes, she thought that it was correct and continue her way.

I tried to talk through sense in her, but to no avail.

Firstly, if I was her I would come up with questions.

- What did I do to cause my family not be able to trust me?

- Am I a reliable person? If I am, why doesn't my family trust me?

- What can I do to make them trust me?

- Is my surroundings a bad or good influence?

- Did I changed?

- Am I matured enough for them to trust me?

That was my way of changing. I changed once I came up with logical answers.

Both of them (her, and her family) is not at fault.

The family should have communicated as she is much younger and teenagers tends to make more mistakes than adults. Its better for them to know their mistakes, if not they will make bigger mistakes instead of learning from their mistakes. I believed both of them had a good intention.

Family:

• Give child more freedom but also restrict them
• Reason it out with child
• Communicate with child
• Improve relationship
• Shows the child your intention

Child:

• Able know right or wrong
• Be mature
• Think wisely
• Understand your family if you was in their shoes

Hopefully, she will read this post of mine. You know who you are dear, I really don't want to see you transform into some ahlians. I don't know what to do. So contradicting... I feel so lost...