Sorry . I regretted it .

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Just read a book on Low Kay Hwa , Journey (of of her novels)
It about a story between a mother and daugther .
they were not on good terms and 1 day , the mother told the daugther
she got cancer and left with 6 more months .
The mother called her "Ah-girl" which my mother called me that too ^^
But she had a chance to fulfilled her last wishes , i didn't even asked her !
Kee Jiya , i feel like giving you a tight slap ! You freak
The story is somehow related to mine , i cried as it was like mine's story .
I regretted it , i couldn't even send her last journey .
I mean i was sleeping in the living room , and when i was informed
she was already passed , but i didn't have the chance to speak to her .
Just pondering , Why wasn't i'm the one with her ?
Why was i such a sleepy head , i rather spend my 3 minutes for her than my 3 hrs of sleeps ?
Why am i so childish to quarrel with my cousins and made her upset ?
Why am i so unobservation , i couldn't tell she was sick ?
Why did i blamed her ?
I complained i have lesser allowance and freedom than my friends , but why i didn't
appreciate her kindness towards me ?
It was mother love .
Up till now , i have many questions for her and myself .
I'm wasn't a great daugther , i should just bang the wall
But no used crying over a spilted milk .

I am a heartless

and cold-blooded bitch .