At the age of 18

At the age of 18, I tell myself that I don't need any love as long as I love myself. I do things to love myself. I buy things to love myself. I eat to love myself. I sleep to love myself. 

But watching shows that emphasize on family and kinship makes me realize that I miss my mom so much and I wish I had a dad....

How can he be totally out of contact with his daughter? Doesn't he want to know how am I doing? Why is that dads who leave their kids for work for 3 months are already missing their child badly and can't wait to be back?

Where are you when I need you?

Where are the piggybacks?

Argh. Fml I don't want to have swollen eyes for CNY day 2 zzz