I haven't felt happy with the current state of myself for awhile. Don't get me wrong, I do laugh at stupid jokes everyday and poking fun at my intern mates. It gets me through everytime at least when I'm not alone.
I can't really pinpoint if it's the moving from where used to be so familiar till a place when the only transport out is via car if it's heavy rain zzzz.
I know I might sound like an ungrateful brat but I thankful that I'm given a roof and a room that can store anything..
It's been 5 months and going 6 months of the change in my relationship status. A part of me just naturally care and love for my partner because loving is what makes the world a better place right?
But I'm frustrated with how things are like.
Or rather, with myself.
I hate how I feel so deprived of myself. I feel so lacking of time. How I no longer watch videos on YouTube anymore. How I don't spend time sitting down and surfing the net. How I don't read random articles anymore.
When I do finally have time, I'm so tired. I'm not tired of having to love someone, I'm tired of not loving myself enough. Maybe I'm indeed self-centered, I miss how it used to be just 100% attention on myself.
