Thoughts b4 bed

I always thought I'm independent enough to have a meal alone which I obviously have done so umpteen times. However, I just had a sudden thought in my mind. I scanned through a list of people in my mind. I realized there's not many people I would want to sit down with and have a decent meal in a cafe/restaurant/coffeeshop setting. Because sometimes it's easier to not talk to anyone than finding the right person to talk to. Now, I finally understood how hard it is to find a companion for a meal. It's not finding a somebody, it's finding that someone. Guess I will just enjoy meals by my own although it meant that I would not have the appetite to order the whole menu. 

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Numerous scenes of people drinking and behaving (feigning) like a drunkard is common (probably sound as though I have seen a lot but I don't).

Why is using the term "intoxicated" an excuse for people to behave the way they truly wish to be like?

What's the need for explaination to seek empathy and understanding? 

If there's a need for explaination, doesn't it implies that your morals and guilt is knocking on your senses? If so, that means you know it's incorrect, then why behave so?

I always believe if you still can walk and talk, you are still conscious. That means you are clearly aware of the situation and you possess the commands of your behaviour.

Sometimes, we all just need to admit that we are fucked up and not blame it on the alcohol unless you are goddamn wasted.

It's not that bad facing the other side of you that you never once prevail to the world. These people makes me ponder their souls and how much it's been lacking.

Skin woes

It's so frustrating how I'm constantly battling with skin issues... It really scares me whenever the thought of how my skin will never be like how it used to be 4 years ago... I don't know why is my natural skin barrier so damaged now that it is unable to restore and repair on its own..

Also, using chemical products worries me that it may only cause my skin to be more sensitive and further breakdown the skin's natural way of repairing thus making it more photosensitive to uv rays.

By using mild products, results are hardly visible and it may eventually become stagnant... Sigh... All I really wish is to obtain an even skin tone and texture without the redness caused by post inflammatory hyperpigmentation.