I haven't felt happy with the current state of myself for awhile. Don't get me wrong, I do laugh at stupid jokes everyday and poking fun at my intern mates. It gets me through everytime at least when I'm not alone.
I can't really pinpoint if it's the moving from where used to be so familiar till a place when the only transport out is via car if it's heavy rain zzzz.
I know I might sound like an ungrateful brat but I thankful that I'm given a roof and a room that can store anything..
It's been 5 months and going 6 months of the change in my relationship status. A part of me just naturally care and love for my partner because loving is what makes the world a better place right?
But I'm frustrated with how things are like.
Or rather, with myself.
I hate how I feel so deprived of myself. I feel so lacking of time. How I no longer watch videos on YouTube anymore. How I don't spend time sitting down and surfing the net. How I don't read random articles anymore.
When I do finally have time, I'm so tired. I'm not tired of having to love someone, I'm tired of not loving myself enough. Maybe I'm indeed self-centered, I miss how it used to be just 100% attention on myself.
Monday, October 2, 2017
Tuesday, August 15, 2017
心很烦
I would normally brush off feeling like these within minutes and be completely alright.
For me to enter this outlet, it really means I need more than just an ice cream or online shopping which didn't work like it used to.
It is so weird that I can't put any words on it. I don't know the source of this feeling. Maybe it's from the recent addition in my life.
Maybe it's just a change in my life that I am currently experiencing a sudden realization?
Maybe my focus on myself has been shifted?
I don't know.
There's so much commotion going in my mind that is so unclear and senseless.
I just wish for this feeling to go away~~~~~~~
//////////////////////////
I know what I'm feeling.
Disturbed. Interrupted. Confined.
Perhaps due to the shifting to a new environment with a smaller living space, I get so choked up by the lack of spaces like I used to enjoy. I feel so stuffy with my stuffs not being in places I wish it could be at. I feel that my life has been interrupted with a new comer in my life, in a pleasant way definitely but I still feel so choked up inside.
For me to enter this outlet, it really means I need more than just an ice cream or online shopping which didn't work like it used to.
It is so weird that I can't put any words on it. I don't know the source of this feeling. Maybe it's from the recent addition in my life.
Maybe it's just a change in my life that I am currently experiencing a sudden realization?
Maybe my focus on myself has been shifted?
I don't know.
There's so much commotion going in my mind that is so unclear and senseless.
I just wish for this feeling to go away~~~~~~~
//////////////////////////
I know what I'm feeling.
Disturbed. Interrupted. Confined.
Perhaps due to the shifting to a new environment with a smaller living space, I get so choked up by the lack of spaces like I used to enjoy. I feel so stuffy with my stuffs not being in places I wish it could be at. I feel that my life has been interrupted with a new comer in my life, in a pleasant way definitely but I still feel so choked up inside.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)